Post by Jay on Feb 8, 2020 16:02:47 GMT
"Ladies and Gentlemen, due to the time limit expiring. The referee has declared this match... a draw!"
...Backstage at the Halifax Civic Center...
Well, that kinda sucked. Flew all the way up here to freeze my nuts off just to get a draw? Bruh, that's like a Vietnamese masseuse tuggin' on your dick and then stoppin' just before you bust a nut, because big black dick make wrist hurt, so sorry. Whatever. You win some, you lose some, sometimes you end up with blue balls and get a refund. It happens.
Anyway. I'm walkin' through the back and peelin' off the tape as I go. There's all these dudes tryna high five me, get some dap, while tellin' a nigga how I still got it. I play along with a nod and smile, jokin' around like I do about "still got it? never lost it!" It's cool, but for real... never lost it.
I get to the locker room and the place is a ghost town. Everyone else must've bailed already. Busy lives and shit, I suppose. It ain't the old days anymore that's for sure. Nobody sticks around to tell stories anymore or get into some trouble like we all used to. Either we're all too old and grown for that bullshit or these damn kids get lost in their phones.
Then again, the last thing I want is to run into Johnny Dreamer. Fuck that pain in the ass nigga. Comin' all the way up here and makin' a mess as always. I know I shouldn't complain. Glass houses and shit, yanno? Still, that fool reps SLAMJAM whether he likes it or not. I'm sure I'll have to smooth it over later with the promoters.
Whatever. I wash the funk off, get dressed, and go find the fam. I walk back through the halls and find Stevie and Kels still in the arena proper. Stevie's elbow deep in helpin' get the ring taken down and tellin' tales to these young cats, who listen close and laugh along with the stories. Seein' my boy embrace his legend status brings the warm and fuzzy feelings, y'all.
It wasn't really that long ago that we were both lost in the darkness. I had to get out of the business to find my way out of the woods. Get myself corrected in all ways. Stevie tho', man. That nigga been addicted to wrestling since before I knew him. Gettin' older and beat up hit him harder, but once he accepted it, he's been livin' that Toys R' Us Kid life to the fullest.
Off to the side Kels is talkin' with Jon Smith about business. Or the weather or hockey or something. She lookin' good too, man. Like she's still fully capable of wildin' out when she wanna, don't let the radio edit version of herself seen on DEFIANCE television fool you. Kels is still spicy, she just walks and talks more like a grown ass woman now.
Heh, it's still funny to me when I think about it. I mean it's been more than five years since we got all official with it. Not bad considerin' how much we hated each other once upon a time; and vowed never to speak to each other ever again. That's old drama though. Just a faded reminder of where we came from to get to where we are now.
Somewhere along the way here I must've set myself down and leaned back like one of them old cowboys with their legs stretched out in front of them. All I was missin' was one of them ten gallon hats tilted down over my face. Next thing I know.
"Wake up old man." She prods at me.
"Wasn't sleepin', I was waitin' on y'all." I answer back with a yawn. Okay maybe I was a little.
"Is he sleeping again?!" I hear Stevie holler halfway across the arena floor.
"Yes!" Kels shouts back with a gleeful 'I was right again' tone.
"I'm up." I protest as I stand myself up. "I'm up, dag, woman." Another yawn and shake myself, get the operating system back up and runnin'.
"Uh huh." She nods and gives me a hug.
I see Stevie off in the not so distant distance shakin' hands with some of the crew before he stomps his way over.
"What's up with that?" He looks at me funny. "A time limit draw? That's like going to a Vietnamese masseuse and paying extra for the rub and tug only for the chick to stop before you cum because big dick hurt wrist, so sorry!"
I laugh.
"Bruh." I slap him on the shoulder. "I was just thinkin' the exact same thing."
"I know right? So dissatisfying." He says with a comically sour expression.
"For real." I nod along. "Man, who's hungry?"
"I could eat." Kels chimes in as she gets her coat on, because it's cold as fuck if you didn't know.
"FOOD!" Stevie bellows excitedly and heads for the door. "I hope they serve Bullwinkle up here."
Both Kels and I laugh as I reach for my hoodie and pull it on before she hugs up on my side, puttin' my arm around her.
"So." She begins as we head out. "How do you feel?"
"About what, wrestling?" I inquire as we head out into the freezin' night. She nods and I continue. "Feelin' a'ight, actually. Now that I knocked the rust off, it's time line the rest of these niggas up like a stack of dominoes and start knockin' 'em down. Dunno who Reed Bellum is, don't care neither. I'mma bust him upside the head with a brick and then go all Planned Parenthood nineteen years too late on Eric's kid."
"Mmm." She kinda purrs her response. Likin' what she's hearin'. "By the way, do they even serve moose up here?"
I shrug as we walk up to the SUV we rented. "Not like Stevie'll know any different, that nigga just wanna eat."
She snickers back. "True, very, very true." She says, shakin' her head before she dips in behind the wheel while I take shotgun.
"Aww man!" Stevie complains as I get settled. "Google says it's illegal in Canada to sell Bullwinkle meat! Stupid Canadians!"
Kels and I share a look and both stiffle a laugh under our breath.
"Yeah, stupid Canadians, bruh."