Post by Jay on Feb 2, 2020 3:46:21 GMT
...An' once that's finished, I'mma go wreck that busted-ass afro-ninja wannabe Tyrone Walker.
"This nigga."
...Welcome to Halifax Stanfield International Airport.
Up.
With his pack slung over his shoulder, YaBoiTy makes his way into Canada for the first time in ages. He's broadcasting this little diddy via his phone. Excuse the nausea-inducing shakiness.
"A'ight." He shifts his eyes away from the human traffic for a moment to peer into the camera. "So we gonna play the game for real then?"
He looks off to make sure he's not about to bump into anyone and continues.
"S'cool wit' me, young nigga. Let's do the damn thing then." His eyes close and he rolls his neck, making it crack audibly. When his head rolls back around he bores a hole into the very soul of anyone watching with those greyish-blue jewels he has for eyes. "So, Assbaby got jokes now, huh?"
He asks rhetorically. A couple of passers by give him a funny look. He ignores them and continues.
"Yeah, I know who you are." He dodges a couple more people. "I heard your daddy dicked down your moms in 2001 or whenever." He leans in and cast a particularly critical eye as if he were personally inspecting Eric Dane, Jr. He's not impressed. "For real. I think Ol' Dee had it right when he said he fucked your moms in the ass." He pauses for a moment. "What I'm tryna say is, yo ass shouldn't be here. No, no." He shakes his head. "Not because you don't belong, but because your moms was one of them trifflin' ass hoes who let that shitty nut trickle down into that crusty puss you fell outta."
Imagine it. The horror. Strangers around him react with visible disgust as they pass him by. You can almost hear random Canadian's apologizing on his behalf. They're so nice like that.
"So yeah, it's in your blood a'ight." He snorts and bobbles his head left to right. "Too bad the best part of ya daddy was left spackled on the walls of your moms shitbox."
"God damn." Says a gruff voice just off screen.
"Ugh. Gross." Says another, decidedly more feminine voice.
Ty snickers with a sinister grin.
"Anyway."
Moving along, for the love of God.
"It's been a minute since I been up this way." He stops for a moment. "A'ight, hol' up. Customs check."
However many minutes later.
"So yeah, where was I?" He pauses momentarily to bring his thought process back online. "Right. Cruiserweights. So it's nice to see the NAWC ain't bullshittin' with any warm ups for YaBoiTy." He shakes his head. "Seriously. Day one and I'm fightin' the dude who won this thing last year. Willard Manchester" He scoffs. "Pssh. Man, I'mma smack this nigga." He mugs for the camera. "Soundin' like he'd be a side character from the British news team on Anchor Man or some shit. Fuck outta here. I'mma make your stay in this tournament real quick."
"You do know it's a round robin, right?" Says the feminine voice.
"I know. I'm just sayin', YaBoiTy's gonna set the tone by takin' out the defending cham-peen of this bitch. Oh yeah, say hey, Kels," He tilts his phone slightly to reveal Kelly Evans walking along on his right. In true Kelly fashion she flashes a darling smile at the camera along with flipping the bird. He turns the camera back to himself. "She here freezin' her tits off with me..." He gets a shoulder check from the other side. "And you too Stevie." He shifts the phone to reveal the King of Pain. The hulking mass of anger keeps on walking without acknowledging the camera. "So grouchy, y'all."
"A'ight, kids. I'mma see all y'all on monday night. Hashtag sorry not sorry in advance to all the runners up."
Out.